Feline Theatre Buffs Pillows

Cats the musical

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"She's all over YouTube."

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

"I have spirit, yes I do. I have spirit, how 'bout you?"

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"So who is this First pet?"

"Only one of my lives was a bowl of cherries."

Hell No Kitty

'Man it's a tough crowd tonight!'

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

'In the middle of the second movement, Rodney's worst fears were realized; Phillippe began to sing along.'

Great mouser!

"You do realise that you are not the only client scheduled this morning?"

"Happy St. Patrick's Day"

'It all started when she started playing with the ball of yarn.'

"Oooh, look — a penny!"

'This is it, I've just heard them: They're selling the flat and are buying a house with a garden!'

Cat eyes up cocktail olive.

"Are you going to finish that? I'm auditioning for a 'That Cat Is Too Damn Fat' video."

The Cat that Ate the Canary, 3 a.m.

'I know it's your bed, but she's our guest. Sorry, sweetie, but you're going to have to sleep on the couch.'

'Yes, I did watch three pay-per-view movies while you were gone. Just how long did you expect a ball of yarn to entertain me?'

Kitty Litter

"Like heck I'm doing downward dog."

'I know how you love empty boxes.'

'Well, it's very hard for me not to be catty.'

'What are you trying to say, Alan?'

Atomic Wait

"Nice top and tails."

'Did he leave an actual horoscope that I could read?'