Feline Fun Gifts

Cat or squash?

'Don't listen to him - He didn't lose it in Iraq - He's a manx!'

The ascent was long, hard and full of privation and Bob almost made it to the top of the mountain...

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

Mittens is challenged by the string.

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

'No, Rusty, this one! You're barking up the wrong tree.'

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

Cat Gets Hole in One.

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

'Bad dog- I said WALKIES!'

'Who are you and what do you want?'

"You do realise that you are not the only client scheduled this morning?"

"Oooh, look — a penny!"

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'Can you believe people actually believe this is a litter box?'

'I know how you love empty boxes.'

"He really likes to play with the mice before he kills them"

"Dear Diary, finished reading the novel, got a bit of weeding done, had 'The Big Conversation' with the wife… HA! Just kidding. Slept."

"What I want to eat? That's easy. Anything you don't have."

I heart my cat. I spayed my cat.

How Grandma's cat cleans those hard to reach places.

"It's a cat-scanner."

"This place is still warm from the dryer and centrally located near several mouse holes."

Courtship Gift.

'He always seems so damn put put.'

'It's true that sensitive documents were destroyed, but only because I needed to sharpen my claws.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Romulus and Remus

"Sit on her chest and stare at her or knock things off the dresser. How do you wake your owner?"

'There's a 'most disgusting contest' photo finish.'

The Devil's Advocat