Feline Fun Prints

Cat or squash?

'Don't listen to him - He didn't lose it in Iraq - He's a manx!'

The ascent was long, hard and full of privation and Bob almost made it to the top of the mountain...

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

Mittens is challenged by the string.

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Canine conundrum.

'No, Rusty, this one! You're barking up the wrong tree.'

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

Cat Gets Hole in One.

'Bad dog- I said WALKIES!'

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

'Who are you and what do you want?'

"You do realise that you are not the only client scheduled this morning?"

'Never underestimate my ability to slink'

You're lucky - I wish mine was such a picky eater.

"Are you going to finish that? I'm auditioning for a 'That Cat Is Too Damn Fat' video."

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"Oooh, look — a penny!"

"Dear Diary, finished reading the novel, got a bit of weeding done, had 'The Big Conversation' with the wife… HA! Just kidding. Slept."

How to Feign Affection To Get Your Way.

"What I want to eat? That's easy. Anything you don't have."

"You can't ride the Roomba until you finish your vegetables."

'Can you believe people actually believe this is a litter box?'

'I know how you love empty boxes.'

"He really likes to play with the mice before he kills them"

I heart my cat. I spayed my cat.

"This place is still warm from the dryer and centrally located near several mouse holes."

"It's a cat-scanner."

How Grandma's cat cleans those hard to reach places.

'He always seems so damn put put.'

'It's true that sensitive documents were destroyed, but only because I needed to sharpen my claws.'

The Devil's Advocat

'There's a 'most disgusting contest' photo finish.'