Feline Espionage Expert Gifts

'And tonight we're going to try out our new drone on Mrs. Sullivan's cats...'

Cat in a tank...

The practical psychopath

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

"Frankly, I think it's time we take a long hard look at cat futures."

"Curiosity."

'The butler did it.'

"What happened to what cat?"

Two cats on vacation

Cat typing 'Meow'.

"It's an app that lets me pointlessly knock things off tables when I'm not at home."

A British policeman looking for a black cat who is in the hedge behind him.

"Yep, I'm pretty sure curiosity was involved."

Uses of a Dead Car in History: '...and probably with a reasonably blunt instrument.'

"I can't tell whether my cat is happy or sad."

When traveling with a cat, the adventure begins long before you go through airport security.

E-File Muffy: Head of Household

Major Tom

"I think I have allergies to something in this room."

"Oh no, the dead mouse on the threshold is not an offering! It's retaliation for my dinner being served late the night before..."

Cat Horoscopes: 'You will spend the day curled up on the comfy chair. In the evening expect a treat from your owner for being so good.'

"He binge watches TED talks about getting the upper hand with cats."

"That should keep him off our backs for a while."

"I just don't get it. According to my calculations, they spend on average five days out of seven away from home: Where do they go and what do they do?"

"When throwing up a hairball, placement is very important."

Penetrating Pet Disguises...

Why cats will never rule the world: 'First, we'll assume high level government positions! Then we'll enforce harsh taxing measures! ...But first let's take a nap...sun spot feels...so good.'

Cats vs Murder Wall

"Do you have to leave the flap up every time you go to the toilet."

"Wow! With this new device, now I can finally hear what you're thinking!"