Fee Foe Gifts

Teller - Hand over some money! I need to pay my bank charges.

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

Buy on-line - Fill in form, Fill in form again, And again, Lose form, Fill-in form a few more times, Give up and go to shop...

'Giving you eternal life was a hard enough problem! Don't expect me to know how to save enough for it, too!'

"I dreamed last night that I was furious at you for charging me for missing last week's session. What do you think it means?"

"You want to withdraw your money? There's a fee for that."

My definition of 'quality time?'...charging $500 per hour.

'There's a cat in our yard! Release the hounds!'

"Surprising, I've never seen a case of repetitive strain injury of the buttock's beffore."

'Grown-ups sure make playing a lot of work.'

"As your attorney, Roger, I feel it's my duty to charge you an enormous amount of money."

'I hear your fees are very reasonable.'

"A message from your terrible foe in the holy lands - she's pregnant!"

"In my experience, there's nothing good at the end of a trail like this."

"I heard you are charging a monthly fee for using your debit card, and I'm here to complain!"

"Where's your evidence?"

'How did I become Vice-President? You ask...I came up with the logest list of fees to charge bank customers.'

"Me? A couple a' drinks and I thought the cat was a squeaky toy..."

"As you know, Ed, my pockets are considerably deeper than yours. Therefore, in addition to my share I'll be needing a percentage of yours."

"Your bill includes a 10% surcharge that goes towards raising awareness of the rampant overcharging in the legal fraternity."

"Take a seat, Mr. Duffy - that will be fifty pounds."

'Your interest? -- oh, we used that to pay the federal deposit insurance.'

Tsunami for fleas

'Sure it's an impressive collection. Too bad they're all overdue library books.'

'Yes, we offer no-fee checking accounts. For a small fee.'

'What's this bank charge of £35?'

'Deposit $1.00 - This is your final notice before we send it to a collection agency.'

Attorney basic fees.

"With all it's hidden fees, this bank must be the leader of the fee world."

"They now charge a fee to collect the fees."

Insecticide.