Federal Judge Gifts

"I know federal judges are appointed for life, but you can take off your robe now."

Christopher Cooper Caricature

Trial by Media

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"Good boy."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

I love Lawyers

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

'Court's in recess!'

"Just for the heck of it, how do you plead?"

Barristers

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

Well HERE'S some good news...Judgement Day has been replaced by a multiple choice questionnaire.

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"You call this a constitution?"

"Now that's a win."

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Oh dear, it's just as we suspected.. they do come from another planet."