Federal Budget Director Gifts

"Are we going to start working with larger numbers? I want to work as a federal budget director."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Fiscal cliff - US dollar falling over the edge.

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

'I suppose we've got to keep a sense of perspective. The Greeks waste our money, the French merely spend it.'

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

Expenses/Income. "Our only problem is working out how to switch these."

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

Preliminary Price Tag: $5,000,000,000

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"The only good news this year, gentlemen, is our massive bonuses."

Budget

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

"What comes after zillion?"

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

City Finance Dept: My Way/The Highway

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

"Will you stop saying 'ouch' every time I cut something out of your budget?"

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

'I can't talk right now. I'm discussing strategy with our financial director.'

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

Benefit mistakes cost one billion a year. Well in our defence we did get a lot of the numbers correct,they just weren't in the right order.

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

Company profit making scheme - Jenkins, you owe us £327.95.

White House Garage Sale.

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

Where tax money goes...

Do you know what it means when all your financial statements are in red ink?' 'That it's time to change the printer cartridge?'

"This is Thompson, he has a black belt in budget control."

"Yow! Thank goodness you've kept costs on a short leash!"

'Aluminum siding will be used to cut costs in restoration at the U.S. Capitol.'

'I don't think we can justify employing a gardener.'

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'