Fearless Granny Lover Pillows

Death never accounted for Mrs O'Grady's handbag.

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

'I'm sorry Peggy, but at this point in time, I just don't feel like getting off the couch.'

Boyfriend scores notches on wall by bed.

"I don't know-somehow the city seems much scarier than when I was a kid."

"I bought it on Amazon. They have a good return policy."

Valentine's Day calls for a romantic candlelight dinner and soft music. Then a trip back to my place for some heavy groping and groaning.

'I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?'

"I invented 'shopping' and I haven't seen my wife since."

"He hates his six-monthly visits."

Venn Diagram of 'love' and 'horror films'

"How about after nightime meds you come to my room for some Netflix and chill."

"Give her a little time, Kids. Helen has to get used to now being a grandmother."

Elderly tightrope walker.

'Come back lads, it's 'armless.'

"There's one thing that scares me at Halloween."

Granny's Old Tyme Prostitute Chocolate Chip Cookies

'Boy, Grandmas sure are cute at that age.'

Lady with walking frame on skis.

'Will you marry us?'

"...Just checking there's no spotty gwobbly bogeymen under the bed."

'I may not look like much but f**k with me and you're dead!'

'Everybody go home now - or I'll speak this party in nothing but my granny panties.'

"Don't worry - the dog's out at the moment."

'George, come back down before you lose your nerve.'

"Hon, it's been more that four hours. Shouldn't we call the doctor?"

'I'm told it's something to do with wireless technology.'

'Okay, let's go and ask them if we can buy them a drink. But try to look confident. They can sense fear.'

"That movie wasn't too scary for you, was it, son?"

'Oh come on Justin, you know I'm terrified of luggage.'

Being an extreme germaphobe, Philip tended tended to startle people when he met them.

"So why haven't you asked Sylvia Sanchez on a date?"