Fax Aficionado Pillows

'Mrs. Nortman just sent in this fax of a rash that she's got on her stomach.'

"We were running late, so my mom faxed me to school."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"What's a debenture?"

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'My husband is very sensitive. He cries when he sees sunsets, old romantic films, and falling values of his 401(k)'

"A little help, please."

Crony Capitalism (Always Follow the Money Trail)

"You're a fine one to talk about my spending!"

Stock market investment advice

"Have you tried biting him?"

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

'There are only three things that matter in this world, son... bottom line...'

"The only good news this year, gentlemen, is our massive bonuses."

The burden of carrying the Euro.

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

"Well, I've emailed, faxed, and phoned Dobson. Maybe I should just walk down the hall and talk to him..."

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

Economy.

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

'Dad, I know all about the birds and the bees; explain stock-swaps and derivatives.'

'He's faxing like there's no tomorrow.'

Occupy Budget Balancing

"It seems to be right about this point that our company started going into free fall."

'Hi, I'm the ghost of your past, present and future stock portfolio!'

Pulling The Economy Uphill

'The rich get richer, but what do the poor get?'

'Dow, Jones, Russell & Nikkei - Leading economic indicators.'

"It's exhausting trying to keep him from throwing away perfectly good sticks."

"Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio of sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'