Faux Enthusiasm Enthusiast Pillows

'So, in closing, let's all say with as much sincerity as we can, 'Oh, what a darling kitchen!''

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

Team Leader

"We finally found a way to bottle enthusiasm."

"How come I can't remember what I forget, but I always remember that I forgot something!"

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

Burning love

I am your BIGGEST fan!

Turning 'Raw Hype' Into 'Pure Hype'

A couple holding hands

In a stock brokers, the lift buttons for up and down have bulls and bears on them.

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

'I'm bouncing with enthusiasm.'

"Fabulous! Marvellous! The kind of job that only comes along once in a lifetime!"

Valentine's Day Kiss

'It had been one of those long, smouldering, passionate kisses that seem to last forever'

'Before the meeting starts let's all sing the company song.'

'I like your enthusiasm!'

My valentine

'Damned tourists.'

I'm BAD deal with it

Jumpin' Jehoshaphat's Witness. (Published previously on March 18, 2008.)

"It says, 'Formal'. Do you have clean socks to wear with your sandals?"

"Honestly, Doug, you never want to do anything. . . I swear with you, it's always meh, meh, meh!"

"I thought I still had lots of fire in the belly for this job, but it turned out to be gas."

'The trouble with facing reality is you never know from which direction it's coming from.'

Thinkin 'bout you.

A little kiss.

The speediness of today's world and its logical conclusion.

The art of regifting

"Ha ha. Stop by and say hello to your mother. Ha ha, that's a good one!"

Wrestlers versus firemen at the scene of a fire.

'...Hi. Just called to say I ate a bag of chips.'

'Listen! If it is a secret, don't tell me: I tend to repeat everything out loud over and over again...'

'I used to be afraid of public speaking, but since I realised everyone falls asleep after 15 minutes...'