Fauvism Fan T-Shirts

Henri Matisse

"We're following Carrot Top."

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

"Why bother?"

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

The Da Vinci Cod

"Reports that AI is planning a world takeover are greatly exaggerated."

Andrew, the wedding usher from the future.

"If you could change just one thing about yourself, what would it be?" "I’d totally wish to have my brain put into a robot body." "That way I could live forever. Imagine living long enough to buy an iPhone 7000." "Wrong answer. An alpha male never lets on that he’s concerned about his mortality. Your answer should have been 'nothing.'" "The alpha male or female is not afraid of death, little buddy." "I think I’d rather wait for the 7000–S." "Stop it."

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

You're my Venus

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

"I take back everything bad I said about AI."

Lazy plumber.

"Take me to your thought leader."

Institute for Artificial Intelligence.

AI

"The difference between us and them is...they can be reproduced by unskilled labour."

'All I did was to connect an artificial heart to artificial legs, to an artificial kidney, to...'

"So, how's your other half?"

"I wonder what our self-cooking kitchen has for us today."

Robot Waiter

"We don't have a cloaking device for our ship, but we've made it look like a banner ad. They won't see us."

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

"Hey, this is a big gamble for us, too. We've never hired a genetically-modified vegetable before!"

"I am your bot server. Page me by phone and tip me in bitcoins."

My wife is the inspiration behind the light speed spaceship - the longer I'm married, the more I want to be the first human who lives on Mars.