Faustian Fan T-Shirts

One of Faust's lesser-known bargains.

"We're following Carrot Top."

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

'It's an extinction notice.'

'You know what they say...live fast, die young and leave a great fossil.'

"I love these old decorations!"

The Da Vinci Cod

Currently Boston

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

You're my Venus

Then, after 3.7 million years...something funny happened.

"Is there someone other than Trump I can speak to? I didn't come all this way to talk to an idiot!"

"I get the strange feeling this has happened before."

'The kids want a new motto: instead of 'slow but sure' they've come up with 'fast and funky'.'

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

Meet Santa's entourage

Justitia, the goddess of justice, is picking a dollar bill from the ground.

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

'That's far enough for the first trip -- gather some soil samples and initiate re-entry procedures.'

'Sorry, this isn't that kind of agency. We determine the age of old fossils, not arrange dates for them.'

"Given a choice, would you prefer to be buried, cremated or converted to fossil fuel?"

'I'm a hunter with gatherer tendencies...'

"I'm not loitering officer, I 'm waiting for the next renaissance!"

Ring those Christmas bells!

Rembrandt's Selfies

"Don't even think about it."

Easter bunny Island.

'I'm glad you came to me. Visions of ghosts of Christmas past, present and future are clearly delusions based on underlying psychological conflicts.'

Fish to friend regarding third fish leaving Precambrian ocean: 'There's been no living with him since he started to evolve.'

How the bones got into the Le Brea Tar Pits

"As fans we are smart enough to understand the game, but not smart enough to realize how unimportant it really is."