Fatherhood Commentary T-Shirts

"Oh, it's you. I thought you'd grown up already."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

Chez Nous Menu

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

"WHich one is mine?"

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

Growth Charts

A baby playing on a grand piano

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

Baby has used blocks to spell out 'SO VERY BORED'.

My daddy ate my homework

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

Mother CareBaby Gap

"He looks just like your husband."

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

Toys in the DVD Player.

'Have you picked out a domain name, yet?'

I think he knows something that we don't know about the uranium molecule.