Father-son Banter Connoisseur Gifts

Tu Quoque

'I love doing things with you, Dad but couldn't you just coach my soccer team?'

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

'Dad, can I borrow the club tonight?'

Boy on father's knee

Boy sits at father's desk at work and says on phone: 'OK, I'll have my boys call your boys ..'

"I am wearing sunglasses and using sunscreen with 50% UV protection. What could possibly go wrong?"

"Ben, forget... what... I'd said about... plastics!"

'Let daddy know if you get a bite.'

Child on a schedule.

"Has your mother called yet on the international situation?"

"Sergio, you are the best father in the world. Except, you know, when you're not."

Caesar slips on ice. Bystander says 'He was warned-beware the ice of March'

'What'd you make dad' - 'It's a snowman, with his ugly, ungrateful son,'

"I think our daughter got her brains from me."

'It's a tough world, son. You inflate. You get kicked around all your life. Then one day - bam! You deflate.'

As a boy, Isaac Newton ignored his father's advice to persevere, preferring instead to let things drop.

Tee for Two

Donald questioned if his dad's guiding hand on his shoulder would remain with him forever.

"Baldo, I think we should meet once a week for dinner."

'You sure know how to get under my Dad's skin.'

"Oh yeah... well I say my kid is better at math and social studies than your kid!"

Father's Day.

"I don't see why I have to learn this stuff! It's knowledge I'll never need! As long as you're here to translate for me."

"Dad's got an imaginary friend too, he's called Techincal support"

"Sure I'll teach you how to work your new computer, Dad. Of course, there'll be tuition."

'Punish us if you must, Dad, but who will you get to tie your shoe laces for you?'

"One day son, all of this will be yours."

'Dad, how old do you have to be to qualify for a government bailout?'

"Your big sister's getting married tomorrow, eat your greens or it's me and you on the dance floor."

Things Dads Teach You

'I'd like you to feel you can talk to me son, how ever inarticulate you are.'