Fat Content Analyst Pillows

'It appears that 'reduced fat' means high fat, 'lo-fat' means plenty of fat, and 'fat-free' means some fat.'

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"Why did God make fruit if he also made candy?"

Man from 'National Viewers and Listeners Association sits at work boxes titled; 'Switch on' and 'Switch off'.

'Those viewers who disagree with our editorial on TV violence has better keep their big mouths shut!'

"Don't be fooled. Chaos reigns."

Joe's Bar and Grill and Focus Group.

"First, finish that genetically modified asparagus. Then you can have ice cream full of bovine growth hormone."

'I envy your metabolism.'

Why Chemists shouldn't take their work home "I can't believe it's not b-b-vegetable mono & dyglycerides!"

"It seems the broadness of your mind and the narrowness of your waist have changed places."

Lack of Nutrition Information

GM Food and World Hunger

'You're definitely a winter.'

'This snack is vegan. It's 100% artificial ingredients.'

"This paleo diet is a lot of work. Maybe we should eat grains."

Young Professional Recipe Test

'Felder, I'd like a woman's opinion. Why isn't this selling?'

MD-HDTV

"Bloody clickbait."

"Oh, sure, I eat gluten ... but only in certain restaurants."

'I just read the food label. That's why I decided to eat the package instead.'

Breakfast of champions

"I just wish you would try counting your blessings the way you do your carbs."

"They're called this because historically they had news in them."

'One day son, all this will be Monsanto's'

'Religious scruples prevent me from eating pork.'