Fast Runner Fan Gifts

'Sorry Son, I might be the fastest animal on land, but I don't think I could catch the Gingerbread Man...'

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

Under pressure.

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Running

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

The polar olympics

'Geoffrey's kit car can go from nought to upside down in under nine seconds.'

Formula One car origami

Hammer Thrower - "Let go of it!"

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

'He's known as the hardest-driving track coach in the country.'

Centaur Sprinter

The Bagel Wheel Derby.

Pig Trotter

'I was this close to the finish line and then somebody threw a stick!'

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

'I believe you were first.'

Daily News Headline Dept. Editor. Here's a story about a guy who shaved his race horse to cut wind resistance, and the horse got a terrible sunburn. "A pony shaved is a pony burned"!

1st Place in the Egg and Spoon Race

Racing pit crew member holds sign for driver: Stop And Ask For Directions.

'They're halfway through the six-meter dash. At this pace, the winner should break the world record by at least 24 hours!'

Plastic Brits: 'Apprehend that fleetfooted alien and naturalise him for Team GB!'

Man planning on standing on a turntable to aid hammer throw.

Dog Scalextric

Only horse I know that likes to start out of the crouch. 6 3.

'Sorry Son, I might be the fastest animal on land, but I don't think I could catch the Gingerbread Man...'

'I know you felt great after ten laps around the track, Mr. Fandella, but remember you were driving.'

Birds watching car race wishing they had wheels.

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'

The Race

"Change down you fool! You can't hit a hairpin at that speed!"

NASCAR TIRE CHANGE