Fast-paced Friend Gifts

'Coffee overload.'

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

Backfire

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

'The grudge match.'

Caliologist

'Nobody wants to play tag with me at school: They say I'm too fast...'

Dating the efficiency expert.

What your guitar says about you.

Big man on Krampus

Evolution of Man

The Inventor of the Man Bun.

'I don't have time to read a book a month, what about a pamphlet club?'

'Your tests indicate that you have a very short attention span -- you should be either a short-order cook or a news anchorman.'

'Ultra-high speed computer...more mistakes in less time?'

New York City, where even snails live at a fast pace!

Kangaroo in a hurry.

'And remember, when you reach the speed of sound the controls work in the reverse direction.'

'Did you know golf is the healthiest sport you can play?'

Abraham sacrifices Isaac

'Kevin, I'm sorry for losing my temper on the eighteenth. Ah I see they removed the flag alright.'

A guy like you who lives life in the fast lane has to expect a few fender benders.

'No wonder it's so warm! Someone's been messing with the thermostat again!'

'Wow! She's fast. She even had time to do her shopping!'

Swing by won't you?

Gardner's question time: 'What plant would the panel recommend for area with no light, no food and no water?'

A man reading whilst running on the word LIBRARY

For some reason the waiter feared that this customer may do a runer

Optimist in Hell.

Portuguese soccer divers.

"It's never too early to start pension planning."

"Are we just going to run suicides again all day?"

"I want you to reduce your speed, Payne!"

"When I said, 'Keep the wine at room temperature'...I didn't mean here!!"

Speed reading class.