Fast-paced Friend T-Shirts

'Coffee overload.'

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

Backfire

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

'The grudge match.'

Caliologist

'Nobody wants to play tag with me at school: They say I'm too fast...'

Dating the efficiency expert.

What your guitar says about you.

The Inventor of the Man Bun.

Big man on Krampus

Evolution of Man

'I don't have time to read a book a month, what about a pamphlet club?'

'Your tests indicate that you have a very short attention span -- you should be either a short-order cook or a news anchorman.'

'Ultra-high speed computer...more mistakes in less time?'

New York City, where even snails live at a fast pace!

Kangaroo in a hurry.

'Kevin, I'm sorry for losing my temper on the eighteenth. Ah I see they removed the flag alright.'

'And remember, when you reach the speed of sound the controls work in the reverse direction.'

Abraham sacrifices Isaac

'Did you know golf is the healthiest sport you can play?'

Gardner's question time: 'What plant would the panel recommend for area with no light, no food and no water?'

'No wonder it's so warm! Someone's been messing with the thermostat again!'

A man reading whilst running on the word LIBRARY

Swing by won't you?

'Wow! She's fast. She even had time to do her shopping!'

For some reason the waiter feared that this customer may do a runer

Optimist in Hell.

Portuguese soccer divers.

"I want you to reduce your speed, Payne!"

"It's never too early to start pension planning."

"When I said, 'Keep the wine at room temperature'...I didn't mean here!!"

"Are we just going to run suicides again all day?"

Speed reading class.

"Athletic shoes please. I live life in the fast lane!"