Fast Feline Fan Gifts

'Fancy a swift half?'

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

Police Feline Unit

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

'Do you have any catsup?'

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

'Bloody favouritism I call it.'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

'Wow, talk about shedding!'

Ricky discovers only cartoon cats can fly.

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

A bird plays the flute to a cat.

'Simply put, we are on our ninth life!'

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

Fluffy explains her string theory.

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

'I just love that little fluffy grey kitten!'

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

Woman pins up a Lost Cat poster on a telegraph pole, but the cat is hiding from her behind the pole.

'I tried to organize a stampede, but everybody has their own agenda.'

"Get your polka-dot butt out of my leaves!"

'I'm making you our receiving manager. Now, go fetch!'

"Cat park"

"What we have here is a severe case of over-growing."

'HEEL!...HEEL!'

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

'Time for my favorite soap opera, Nine Lives to Live.'