Fashionista With A Funny Bone Mugs

Toast Tanning

'Is it just me, or has the glamour gone out of constuction?'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

"They're not Levi Strauss - they're not Levi Tate."

'I'm looking for something to impress the shareholders.'

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

'The Prom Dress: One Week Later'

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

"I hear you've a complaint about the eggs..."

'House wine?'

"Will you be ordering A La Carte, or heading straight over to the trough?"

"Oooh... bacon!"

Bernice Mountain Dog

Falloon's Menswear. Where it's always brown trouser time.

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

'I'm just curious, which one of you was dropped off by their boyfriend on a really fast motorcycle?'

Crocodile Shoes

"Remember, you're selling home appliances, so look more ... dishwashery."

"Marie Antoinette? This is she."

"I thought I put on my 'big boy' pants this morning but apparently they were my 'fire me' pants."

"So that's a triple burger with added cheese and relish... Would you like the complementary angioplasty with that?"

"I don’t know, honey – sort of makes you look like a blockhead."

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

Naked Furniture

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

Boss, we got a UFO sighting...Unidentified Frying Object.'

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'