Fashionista's Faux Pas Pillows

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"The weatherman said dress for the mid 70's. Bob was elated." "Much. Too. Sexy."

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

Middle-Age Superheroes

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

"My dang neck is killin' me again." "That's because you left your dang hanger in your coat. Again."

The Return Of The Minipants

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

Turn around at the next junction, turn around now! Turn around immediately - you've forgotten your handbags!

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

"I warned you not to buy your top hat and tails from that ex magician!"

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

The Bland Leading the Bland

"Mmm..I haven't worn this tie since the firms 1997 dinner and dance..."

Fifty Gallon Head.

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

"You might consider new socks as well."

Aye, maybe I shouldn't get dressed in the dark.

"What? I slept seven months."

"Is that my skirt?!!"

"It's an important interview, so you probably shouldn't wear a necktie that contains more material than your suit."

"You have it backwards. When you're having an online meeting, you're supposed to look good from the waist up."

"Take my advice—never let anybody talk you into joining the Tie-of-the-Month Club."

'Bob, you're suffering from embarrassing static cling.'

"It's not a cummerbund. It's my underpants."

'I would've dressed better, but my tie was dirty.'

"Everyone who cares about you is here, Frank, because we all feel it's time you quit wearing your baseball cap backwards."

'I couldn't decide what to wear to work so I just didn't go.'

"But Reinhardt, you have another week and a half left of your vacation.""I had to come back, chief. They laughed at my black socks on Nantucket."

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Dang it! My pants must've shrunk in the dryer. . . Ok. . . who's responsible for shrinking all of my slacks?!!'