Fashionista In The Garden Gifts

Those aren't your standard gardening shorts. They're perfect. I get a tan on the hard-to-tan backs of my legs. That is important. My only problem is the unsightly panty line. That's easily fixed. Wear looser pants. Will do. In 30 years.

'How do you like my new 'Blend with the Background' skin?'

So it's a short back and sides, but leave the horns!

Eden. There's great leaves to wear growing on this vine. Ah, it's the new summer clothing line!

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

Cattle farmer's super-market

Likes Makes Right

"Wow! I didn't even know Prada made pencil cases."

"Jimmy Choo, Mahnolo Blahnik- honestly can't taste the difference."

Blonde woman talking to airport bookshop assistant, 'I'll be spending a lot of time by the pool - do you have anything in pink that would match my bikini?'

'I'm tired of them laughing at our rear ends. It's like we have a genetic wardrobe malfunction.'

"It must be a fur tree."

'Wax Lipped Cow'.

Could you make me look a little bit more 'cowy'?

'It's nice when people give Christmas presents that you appreciate.'

"She's diversifying her portfolio."

Waaay too corporate!

A horse of a different color, and matching scarf.

Venus Fly Trap Hat

'See, I just unzip my polar fleece when it's really hot.'

"Seriously, Allan? Summer camo after Labour Day?! Quite the fashion faux pas, wouldn't you say?"

Jean and Sam - "Sorry, luv - No Jeans!"

'A few over here, please.'

"Money talks. It says, 'spend me'."

Poinsettia

Farmers in love

"So you didn't get the neck-a-chief memo?"

Barnyard wigs.

"Who does your horns?"

'Daisys squirting-no punch line'

Cow Piercing.

"Oooh, wind chimes�how New Age."

"Comfy?"

"Looks like somebody had some 'work' done."

Erm... you got any wax, hon'?