Fashionably Frugal Gifts

'How can I be your best friend when you're wearing a $250.00 pair of boots and I'm in my bare feet?'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

'It makes conferences so much cheaper, no travel costs and we only need to buy our own drinks!'

The Walk of Shame

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

'I received your list of the type of company car you'd like to receive. The Maserati, Ferrari, Porche and Viper isn't possible, but there is a 1978 Pinto with your name written all over it.'

Electricity Bills

"Is that neat whisky?"

"For Pete's sake, Helen, will you break down and buy a hair dryer!"

"We've been milked all day at the office. Now we girls deserve a little R&R."

'I could only afford a Yo.'

"C'mere, space heater."

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

"It's about time the price of generic drugs went down! Oh, and give me fifty quick picks."

Bad times for retirees.

"The valuation of my business includes its goodwill."

'I knew it was going to cost me when I noticed the mahogany tongue depressor'

School Supplies and Small Loans.

Thrift: bathe fully dressed and wash your clothes at the same time

"I agree, it fits perfectly...but not my budget!"

'I got mine at a garage sale for only 99 cents.'

Budget Recliner

"If this doesn't work I'll turn on the heat."

Bargain Hunter

Why buy one in December when you can have them all for free in January?

'So far my grandfather's funeral has cost me £6000!... We buried him in a rented suit!'

Back to school expenses.

'Do you have to bring your take-home pay home with you?'

". . .and the money we save on glassware, we pass on to you."