Fashionably Frugal T-Shirts

'How can I be your best friend when you're wearing a $250.00 pair of boots and I'm in my bare feet?'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

'It makes conferences so much cheaper, no travel costs and we only need to buy our own drinks!'

The Walk of Shame

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

'I received your list of the type of company car you'd like to receive. The Maserati, Ferrari, Porche and Viper isn't possible, but there is a 1978 Pinto with your name written all over it.'

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

Everything for a buck.

Electricity Bills

"We've been milked all day at the office. Now we girls deserve a little R&R."

"For Pete's sake, Helen, will you break down and buy a hair dryer!"

"Is that neat whisky?"

'I could only afford a Yo.'

"C'mere, space heater."

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

"It's about time the price of generic drugs went down! Oh, and give me fifty quick picks."

Bad times for retirees.

"The valuation of my business includes its goodwill."

'I knew it was going to cost me when I noticed the mahogany tongue depressor'

School Supplies and Small Loans.

Thrift: bathe fully dressed and wash your clothes at the same time

"If this doesn't work I'll turn on the heat."

Budget Recliner

"I agree, it fits perfectly...but not my budget!"

'I got mine at a garage sale for only 99 cents.'

"It's even worse than I thought!"

"This job's really helping me buy my car...even if it's one piece at a time."

'So far my grandfather's funeral has cost me £6000!... We buried him in a rented suit!'

'Do you have to bring your take-home pay home with you?'

Why buy one in December when you can have them all for free in January?