Fashion-forward With Frugality T-Shirts

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

Scot to a Greek: 'Love your outfit.'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

"I’ll tell ya who’s got a ‘dark side’: my cat, that’s who. You should see what she did to my Manolo Blahnik pumps!"

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

'It makes conferences so much cheaper, no travel costs and we only need to buy our own drinks!'

Christmas sweater alternatives

The Walk of Shame

"Overkill, dude."

'Which fashion magazine do you recommend?'

Standardisation: "I don't understand...it fitted us OK!"

'I received your list of the type of company car you'd like to receive. The Maserati, Ferrari, Porche and Viper isn't possible, but there is a 1978 Pinto with your name written all over it.'

'It's just full of dirty laundry but it makes me feel much more hip.'

Beware of Dawg.

"I'm never ready for sweater weather."

'You've had the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

"Is that neat whisky?"

"For Pete's sake, Helen, will you break down and buy a hair dryer!"

"We've been milked all day at the office. Now we girls deserve a little R&R."

Electricity Bills

A tailor measuring a jacket.

"If my mother and father had wanted to see Yves Saint Laurent's initials on my possessions, one supposes they would have named me Yves Saint Laurent."

"I want you to work late. Put on your overtime shoes."

Two men, one with his abdomen outside his trousers, the other with it inside. 'The Tummy Tuck.'

Bad times for retirees.

"The valuation of my business includes its goodwill."

'You must have something in my size?'

People Holidaying in the Highlands