Fashion Foodie Pillows

Bacon, lettuce and tie sandwich.

Woman dressed as a soup can

"What do you mean 'you don't like this outfit', these are the clothes I came in with."

'I sent out for everything.'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"You do like octopus?"

"Even the waiters here are organic."

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

Ice Cream Surgeon

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

What the Doctor Ordered

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

La Table

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

Fast food. Even faster food

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"Rump roast?"

'He made an excellent jelly.'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

"The space aliens who abducted me wanted to know what it was like to be loved...I wasted no time."

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'