Fashion Faux-ntastic Gifts

'This latest toga from Rome says, veni, vidi, vici.'

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"Where can I find the lefts?"

St. Patricks Day Shamrock Outfit

The Return Of The Minipants

Pirates

'Good to know my whole social life hasn't been a complete waste.'

Fat Kid 28- Discovers his feminine side

"I'm afraid it's two, three months, tops, before you're all pants."

Choosing What To Wear.

Poisson d'Avril!

'He wears a necktie like he means it.'

"I like what you've done with your apartment and your clothes."

The TROU of the Baroque

'Dwayne deeply regretted not placing his mother in a personal haircare home earlier.'

"It's dress down day!"

So it's a short back and sides, but leave the horns!

Leopards do change their spots

'Now that's what I call a beautiful fit.'

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

"I warned you not to buy your top hat and tails from that ex magician!"

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

"I didn't realise it was a formal do."

Woman with blouse zipped up to varying degrees. Arrows read, 'single,' 'married, 'happily married.'

Shopping Torture

'My barbie's got a hot date she needs some slag-rags.'

After deliberating on the topic for weeks, I've decided to grow out my toenails. Why? My mane of hair is lustrous and thick. My musk is overpowering. My muscles, toned. Primal. Sinewy. My chest hair is coifed and glistening. But I can't rest on my laurels. The only way to maximize my animal magnetism at this point is to grow talons. I'm a victim of my success. And here I was worried about world peace.

"I'm sorry, but I assumed it was a fancy dress costume..."

100% Bombast-Filled Parka

The trouble was she never knew where to draw the line

The last of the mullet.

Too Much?