Farmyard Humorists Pillows

'She's a pain in my meat by-products.'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

A sure sign of rain

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

Dedication to excellence....

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

"Static cling."

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

"That's... yikes. I mean... what's even going on down there? Honey, I don't think a push-up bra is very flattering on you."

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

"Start talking."

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."

'The cow mooed, the pig oinked, the chicken clucked, I baaed and then we adjourned.'

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

'Mr. President, you have a phone call. It's the First Hen.'

Tropical Cow Tank

Grassy breath?

'Gee, at these prices you'd think they would tie the feedbags on for you.'