Farmhouse Fantasy T-Shirts

Chicken of the Woods

A Palindrome Cow.

The Rural Bidet...

"Do you have one with a bigger mud room?"

Ewe-topia - An imaginary perfect place where Ewes exist, their version of Utopia.

Maternity ward on the farm.

"Chocolate-coated rocks! Oh darling, you're spoiling me!"

"Daddy says he got the promotion: We'll be able to afford to move to greener pastures!"

Old MacDonald had a startup.

"Old Martini Had A Farm"

'Nothing like a cup o' Joe before you mow.'

"I'm off girls...gonna make the most of being an empty nester, while it lasts!!"

Grant Wood didn't like the original composition for his 'American Gothic' painting.

"You call this pigswill food?"

'This is definitely one of eight conditions.'

"Frank! You're early! I never wanted you to see me like this!!"

Realistic Farm Set - Cheese Shop/Holiday Lets/Barn Conversion.

'What do you think of the barn conversion.'

...and this is you bedroom come dining room come kitchen come toilet!

Fields

"Only once! That particular winter morning, it has snowed overnight and the sunrise was so spectacular I was speechless: I forgot to cock-a-doodle-do!"

'Are you playing hoofsie with me?'

Sign next to a road through a rural area that reads "Next Democrat 50 mi.".

"That's quite a set of cow horns you've got there."

"Yeah, it's not very good farm land! In this paddock, I wonder if the farmer grows grass or rocks..."

'I can't wait to be shorn of all this wooly symbolism.'

"Now that I've seen this, I don't think I can ever enjoy popping bubble wrap again."

"Come, join me for a few moments of mindful indolence!"

'Mom, I just picked up a garbage disposal at the yard sale, cheap!'

'Harry's a real crank about fresh eggs.'

It's all done by stop motion photography, don't you know!

A chicken lays pyramids instead of eggs.

'It's better than we expected. Now the sheep produce wool in the winter and cotton in the summer.'

'While we often do allow couples to choose music with personal significance, I'm not sure we can go along with Hi-ho the derry-o the farmer takes a wife.'

"No, Boris Johnson is not under there."