Farm Fitness Fan Pillows

"You don't have to sell the farm. There are people who will pay money to lift and carry big tires."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

Cow Pinatas

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

Raptures

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

Yoyo sheep

I feel better than ever physically but I'm totally obsolete at work. In life 60 is the new 40. In the workplace 40 is the new 60.

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

"Well, that will never be a yoga pose."

"I run around this high school track every morning."

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

'No, you can't play Space Invaders in it.'

Reasonableman

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

Sisyphus during Covid

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

Exercise Bars

'I'm studying the lay of the land..'

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

Oh boy, lucky you were there: I was cramping up. I need a few minutes rest if you don't mind...

Wild Cow.

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

"This old bike of mine has sure lost some if its speed over the years."