Farewell Gifts Pillows

"That's not a progress chart, that's the bosses salary chart!"

Do Not Resuscitate

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

"Ron didn't realise he was so popular."

'Let's send her a text message; 'You're FIRED!''

"Looks like our days at the think tank are numbered."

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

Best Scapegoat

"Goodbye, Cruikshank. We leave you to contemplate the wisdom of messing with big dog!"

"We end our Newscast with a happy story tonight."

"He reports to Grand Central Palace tomorrow."

'Yeah, he was a good boss, and we'll miss him. Somebody kick his briefcase down there, too.'

Brilliant suggestion Kimble, to get rid of all the deadwood around here - we'll miss you.

"Just go ahead. It's my last day here and I hate this place."

"Hate to see you leave—you were my favorite puppet."

'It was a rare accident. Lightning struck his bed pan.'

'All right, so you've prepared your resignation . . . let me have it!'

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

Leaving cards.

'And, lastly, I'd like to thank Chuck for his years of service. He'll be leaving the company next month to spend more time with his cash and cash equivalents.'

Your talk of promptness seems to have worked - everybody was out of here by one minute after five.

'Well at least they afforded me the courtesy of not using email,'

"It's my resignation in the form of a graphic novel."

'You're fired. The test results came back and you tested positive for crack.'

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

'As part of our severance package, you're allowed to take three smacks at this blow-up doll of the company CEO.'

"Harper, we'd like you to become the company fall guy. The position comes with a generous severance package."

"Looks like they're headed off the grid!"

"This is Abramson, our new piñata."

"Of course, I'm not suggesting that you should also bail."

"Goodbye old girl. They'll never issue another bag quite like you."

Gap Year: Then and Now.

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm very disappointed in the severance package."

"I'm going to mix business with pleasure. You're fired."