Farewell Gift Giver Pillows

"I'd feel like a hypocrite contributing to his farewell gift after firing him."

Do Not Resuscitate

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Sana's Back with his soot eating grin.

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

celebrating a birth.

Some cars need a backseat steering wheel.

'They're dog roses!'

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

'Let's send her a text message; 'You're FIRED!''

Love.

Birthday Racing Car

"We end our Newscast with a happy story tonight."

"That's not a progress chart, that's the bosses salary chart!"

"Shouldn't have, you really."

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

"Goodbye, Cruikshank. We leave you to contemplate the wisdom of messing with big dog!"

"Actually it's darling and I'm sure it would fit perfectly. It's just that I'm not a woman."

Valentines Balloons

'Yeah, he was a good boss, and we'll miss him. Somebody kick his briefcase down there, too.'

'And that,and that,and that...'

Brilliant suggestion Kimble, to get rid of all the deadwood around here - we'll miss you.

'Aha! You can tell Dottie and the kids I didn't forget their presents!'

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

"Hate to see you leave—you were my favorite puppet."