Fantasy Salon Enthusiast Pillows

Medusa curling her snake hair with curling tongs

The adoration of the gels.

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

"Absolutely not!"

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Pampered and poodled.

The Coiffing - to Illustrate poem 'The Ballad of a Barber'

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

'My hair is so bad I have to cut it myself. I tried going to a hair salon once - they just yelled at it.'

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

The quarantine self cut.

'Here you are Dear, here's a fiver. Go in there and have them make you look like a million dollars.'

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

GURLERS

In the shaving cut operating room of a hospital.

Judge getting hair done.

I just want to look natural. You know, like a movie star.

"Come on, let me cut your fringe! You look ridiculous!"

"Actually, Occam, the simplest explanation is that you need an electric razor."

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

After deliberating on the topic for weeks, I've decided to grow out my toenails. Why? My mane of hair is lustrous and thick. My musk is overpowering. My muscles, toned. Primal. Sinewy. My chest hair is coifed and glistening. But I can't rest on my laurels. The only way to maximize my animal magnetism at this point is to grow talons. I'm a victim of my success. And here I was worried about world peace.

"Well sir. . . you could have a crew cut, flat top, a stiff quiff, a hi-top fade. . . "

"I beg your pardon, but a mustache is required in the dining room. Would you like us to provide you with one?"

Time to trim the eyebrows!

"Yes dear, I'm sure if it were smaller the pepper mill would make a fine ear and nose hair trimmer."

"BEARD FOR HIRE! Good Rates!"

Bad Hair Day

The edge on this blade gives a close shave. Guaranteed to last a lifetime.

"Could you just make it a little awkward for a few weeks?"

"You've been ages,dear-but never mind I've been patiently waiting in the pub accross the road!"

Jo's Beauty Salon. On vacation. Closed for Summer. That's when things got ugly.