Fantasy Roleplayer Gifts

'No I didn't cast Detect Evil to work it out! Let's just say I aced my Female Intuition roll...'

'OK, your deer hunting license seems to be in order. But I still think that you are one sick and twisted individual.'

Knight takes armadillo for a walk.

"You look great. Are you using a new metal polish?"

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

A couple dressed as a knife and fork

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

Second lifeReal life.

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

"What part of 'giddyup' don't you understand?"

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

After the gun ban, the guys still liked to go out and horse around on weekends.

'It would never work out, Blackfire — our alignments are too different.'

'Some people just aren't cut out for adventure gaming, Bruno — maybe you should try chess or checkers.'

'Let's play doctor. You can be my malpractice lawyer.'

"They'd run out of nurses' uniforms..."

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

I'm tired of your games, Al. MY games? look who's talking! The guy with the role-playing hand puppets!

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"They're class action figures."

'How can you say I'm a bad actress, Tarzan?'

"Next time you meet me dressed as a giant boy, it's going to cost you a pair of diamond earrings."

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

'Let's play doctor - you be the patient, you be the surgeon, and I'll be the malpractice-attorney.'

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'Billy takes his jungle gym seriously!'

'We're playing 'mummy'!'

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

When we said we wanted you to have more fun training we didn't mean THAT much fun.