Fantasy Role-player Gifts

"That door's no protection against Hobgoblins." - Elf And Safety Inspector

Centaur had spots painted on him so he can play a cow.

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"Gee, Harriet, you are the kinkiest!"

"i like role playing but this is sick!"

'Howard, do you mind if I call you 'Lance'?'

"Hey, Angel of Death! I'd like to see just how fast you really are!"

King to knight: 'You'll have to stop slaying dragons for awhile - the Sierra Club got an injunction.'

Hunding

Shepherd

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

A couple dressed as a knife and fork

"What part of 'giddyup' don't you understand?"

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

'It would never work out, Blackfire — our alignments are too different.'

'Some people just aren't cut out for adventure gaming, Bruno — maybe you should try chess or checkers.'

'Let's play doctor. You can be my malpractice lawyer.'

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

"Next time you meet me dressed as a giant boy, it's going to cost you a pair of diamond earrings."

"They're class action figures."

'How can you say I'm a bad actress, Tarzan?'

I'm tired of your games, Al. MY games? look who's talking! The guy with the role-playing hand puppets!

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

'Let's play doctor - you be the patient, you be the surgeon, and I'll be the malpractice-attorney.'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

'Billy takes his jungle gym seriously!'

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

"And what if I don't want to be Jack or Ennis?"