Fantasy Humor Fan Gifts

'To enable them to provide the service we require the procurement team have submitted a request for seven wands, a crystal ball and a time machine...'

Dinosaurs miss Noah's Ark.

'Sure, I can fire your pottery...'

'Sorry, I'm late. I ran into a lot of construction.'

"No. I haven't seen the catnip, but I do know where the unicorn hid the ostrich."

"Damn! - They've just raised my retirement age to 1,250...!"

"Don't worry, everything is the same, only I fart rainbows."

"You didn't seriously think that one does one's own huffing and puffing these days, did you?"

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

'No chocolate?! What kind of place has no chocolate?'

"Before our date goes any further...do you have any allergy or high cholesterol issues?"

'Sorry, pal, but the last guy who rubbed my lamp took everything!'

"Has he had all his shots"

'My new girlfriend's OK I suppose, but she has an arse like the back of a cart-horse'

'I expected the wings, but not the beaks.'

Witch uses remote key to find broom.

Dwarf on golf course

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

Skipping Horse

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

Seagiraffes

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

"Congratulations, Amruk. You prove they do exist."

"Just let her believe in fairies a little while longer."

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

Pinocchio's nose used by cat as a scratching post