Fantasy Humor Fan Gifts

'To enable them to provide the service we require the procurement team have submitted a request for seven wands, a crystal ball and a time machine...'

Dinosaurs miss Noah's Ark.

'Sure, I can fire your pottery...'

"No. I haven't seen the catnip, but I do know where the unicorn hid the ostrich."

"Damn! - They've just raised my retirement age to 1,250...!"

"Don't worry, everything is the same, only I fart rainbows."

"You didn't seriously think that one does one's own huffing and puffing these days, did you?"

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

"Before our date goes any further...do you have any allergy or high cholesterol issues?"

'Sorry, pal, but the last guy who rubbed my lamp took everything!'

"Has he had all his shots"

'My new girlfriend's OK I suppose, but she has an arse like the back of a cart-horse'

'I expected the wings, but not the beaks.'

Dwarf on golf course

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

Skipping Horse

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

Seagiraffes

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

"Congratulations, Amruk. You prove they do exist."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"Just let her believe in fairies a little while longer."

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

The Mouse Princess

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

Where are they now?: Office of Management & Budget - Grumpy.

Paranormal A-Z...

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

Piracy on a boating lake