Fantasy Fanatics Gifts

'OK, I'm back. Here's a notarized hard copy of my offer granting you three wishes, all ready for your lawyer to review. And I don't mind telling you, pal, it's jerks like you who are RUINING this job!'

"Toto, I have a feeling we're not at the Kansas State Fair anymore!"

'I'll grant your next wish as soon as I finish researching my Genie-Ology.'

'We're cutting back, so I can only grant you a whim'

"Shh...here he comes, and he's got the brain and the heart with him"

"No, but maybe if you came with us the wizard would give you 50p for a cup of tea!"

"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore Toto!"

Thanks for the heads up on the gelatinous cube!

Latest support group: British actors who couldn't get a part in the Harry Potter films.

Giant Monster in Bath

"Madame, you're the most beautiful lady in the whole country and as sweet as apple pie!"

"At least this way we don't have to trudge around with a bunch of weirdos."

Cheshire's Badd Kitty...

"He says this week is absolutely manic, could you reschedule?"

"I'd like a purple unicorn. . . OK. . . I wish politicians would act like adults."

Disabled Access

"Eye of newt. . . wing of bat. . . hair of dog!"

Harry Sotter

"The gods are antic tonight."

When dragons fall on hard times...fire sale.

"You fool!...You've given him the abnormal brain of a criminal!"

New Sheik'n'vac magic carpet freshners.

Medieval King

Acorn...unacorn.

'They might be able to resist the candy, but no healthy child can walk by a freshly raked pile of leaves.'

Mermaid and old sailor

"Stop it! You're killing me!"

Wonderland Dating Service. Some of the clients are very picky and others aren't. Georgie Porgie wants a girl who will kiss on the first date. Pinocchio needs an honest relationship ... and Bo Peep is only interested in guys without pet allergies. The mermaid will go out with anybody - if she has a bad date, it doesn't bother her! She says there are plenty of fish in the sea! And Humpty Dumpty likes whoever we set him up with. Yeah, he'll fall for anybody!

Monster Club. It's difficult to get this entire group to a ball game. Yeah, Dracula will go only on bat day. King Kong has to be in the upper deck. Jekyll and Hyde only go to double-headers. There must be a full moon for the werewolf to go. And of course The Hulk will only sit atop the Fenway Park left field wall. Yeah, he loves the green monster! Red Sox.

"Better imaginary than extinct."

"It doesn't work. You still look like a unicorn."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

Seagiraffes