Fantasy Cruiser Gifts

"How long have you felt like a three-masted schooner?"

'Sometimes George likes to pretend he's an astronaut.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

Mountain bikes and molehill bikes.

'It's St Patrick's Day...I thought you called this car your lucky charm??!'

Academic Jeopardy - "The great unknowns and cosmic uncertainties of the universe are reduced by this number daily."

Addicted to reading

Alice Through the Looking Glass - The Garden of Live Flowers.

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

Angel doing the hula hoop.

'That's what I'm talkin' about!'

"Balance is essential, Ray. For example, this week, my life is purpost-driven, and I'll follow that with seven days of aimless drifting!"

Angels shopping in a store called "Heaven Pharmacy: Self-serve"

"I'm looking for a car with backseat performance."

Extreme skier flies through cloud.

'I'm still trying to build up a following here, but I'm huge in Lilliput.'

"Over the river and through a ridiculous detour that has us in the middle of who-knows-where, to Grandfather’s house we go!"

Playboy has rigged his car with a loveseat

Is Gypsie Moth in YOUR Garden? Signs to look for...

'I realize you love my boat, but you've been on it for nearly a month now. Do me a favor and go home.'

"Let's just pretend we're in Venice."

'My wife insisted I stop and ask someone for directions. Could you just pretend you're giving them to me?'

Sports car.

Now Entering Wyoming (or one of those other rectangular states that are out west someplace).

Mount Rushmore waves back to tourists.

'It's very nice, but it's not really me. Do you have any of those little round, hollow, plastic balls?'

Employee Parking. The only way my boss practices "top-down" management is by driving a convertible.

Slow, merge left, resume speed, stop, stay, sit, roll over, good boy!

Winter Roadwork...

"I suggest we either move the chair further inland, or get a higher chair."

"Imagine yourself: driving up the coast, the top down, tears streaming down your face because your wife had no choice but to kick you out, this time for good."

Marriage Guidance / Travel Agent

Meh, I've been on higher.

"With my handicap I can park just about anywhere I want to!"