Fantasy Cruiser Gifts

"How long have you felt like a three-masted schooner?"

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

Mountain bikes and molehill bikes.

Alice Through the Looking Glass - The Garden of Live Flowers.

Addicted to reading

'It's St Patrick's Day...I thought you called this car your lucky charm??!'

Academic Jeopardy - "The great unknowns and cosmic uncertainties of the universe are reduced by this number daily."

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

Angel doing the hula hoop.

"Balance is essential, Ray. For example, this week, my life is purpost-driven, and I'll follow that with seven days of aimless drifting!"

Angels shopping in a store called "Heaven Pharmacy: Self-serve"

"I'm looking for a car with backseat performance."

Extreme skier flies through cloud.

Is Gypsie Moth in YOUR Garden? Signs to look for...

'I realize you love my boat, but you've been on it for nearly a month now. Do me a favor and go home.'

Playboy has rigged his car with a loveseat

"Over the river and through a ridiculous detour that has us in the middle of who-knows-where, to Grandfather’s house we go!"

'I'm still trying to build up a following here, but I'm huge in Lilliput.'

"Let's just pretend we're in Venice."

'My wife insisted I stop and ask someone for directions. Could you just pretend you're giving them to me?'

Sports car.

Now Entering Wyoming (or one of those other rectangular states that are out west someplace).

Mount Rushmore waves back to tourists.

Slow, merge left, resume speed, stop, stay, sit, roll over, good boy!

'It's very nice, but it's not really me. Do you have any of those little round, hollow, plastic balls?'

Winter Roadwork...

"With my handicap I can park just about anywhere I want to!"

Marriage Guidance / Travel Agent

"Imagine yourself: driving up the coast, the top down, tears streaming down your face because your wife had no choice but to kick you out, this time for good."