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101 uses of a dead cat: back scratcher.

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

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'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

'I used to chase cars. Now I chase yield.'

"No Eric, you're NOT funny haha. . . you're funny peculiar. . !"

"Sorry, Jeff. This just isn't working as I'd hoped."

Cow Pat Planning

Coping with Normalcy

A man shoots his head at a basketball hoop.

Ice fisherman using plunger to catch fish

"I told you not to order the Zamboni."

'...and before we ask the $100,000 question, we've enclosed Carl in our sealed soundproof booth.'

'I'm part of you, you're part of me...'

The one thing that drives elephants wild is sickeningly sweet elevator music.

"If she sings it's over."

"Whoa whoa whoa, I haven't even told you my safe word yet!"

'How long shall we wait until we start eating each other?'

"Your deadliest sin was cheating at church bingo."

"I'm a freelance radiologist."

"It was DIY that broke up a relationship. I wanted to have sex on my own are you want to do it with me."

"It's just not the same."

'There's no easy way to tell you this Mr.Lymtop...But i'm afraid you have an inoperable brain tuna.'

'Your toilet isn't working!! Can you hold?'

Rorschach multiple-choice test.

"D'you know I believe you're right - there isn't any water in here!"

'For crying out loud - will you quit grinding your teeth!'

Captain Pointy No.46 - The hazard of plate fungus

Feces on a stick (huge street vender fly selling shit)

"No, Bruce, that's the heating guy."