Fanatical Foodies T-Shirts

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

Counting ribs

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Important Food Groups

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Benihana style of cooking.

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Kitchen Kapers

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

The Streets - Night

Burnt or Raw?

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

This Year's Spa

"As you can guess, Rico is my role model."

Acme Foods. Research and Development. Then it's an "no" on the Mexican Jumping Bean Dip?

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"Is the garbage fresh?"

Will work for Food Network.

A convenient attack of swine flu...

At home - 'small and early' - refreshments.

"More croutons, sir?"

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!