Fan Of Medical Comedies Gifts

"Doctor, I'm fairly certain we've been feeding the wrong end for a week."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"All my symptoms are old ... "

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

"I think it stopped breathing."

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

"My first night in the lab and I was clearly the smallest brain in the place."

"The patient in 12-C needs comforting."

"It's probably a fracture - we'll do some imaging on it just to be sure."

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

'That's not what I meant by 'IV'.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Whatever it is, you've got it bad and that ain't good.'

"Bad news. Your use-by date was a month ago."

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

"Well, you may not have the body of an athlete, but you certainly have the foot of one."

'I've got this feeling, like a heavy weight on my stomach.'

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

"You're suffering from extreme laziness."

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

'My goodness, how many miricle drugs did they give you?'