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Fairy tale

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

Newt sale

Kiddies Menu for Witches

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

Sleeping Beauty

'She's still a novice yet.'

Medieval Office Supplies

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'Your resume looks good. Let me hear some of your incantations.'

'..and one for the pot.'

Eleven/Millie Bobby Brown (caricature)

'I love it when it's windy and we do a Mexican wave!'

"Your're mum's well wicked."

'I guess I don't need to tell you that you got the job.'

Frog Prince

Eye of Newt Helper

"It's the witching hour somewhere."

'The recurring poor enrollment prognostications plays havoc with our school district's budget. What will next year's enrolment be.'

'You've a broken lamp and your underlay's dangerously worn.'

'Well, since you put it like that, I suppose we could reduce the price of the property slightly.'

"I turned Billy Whitley into him. Can I keep him?"

"That was good, but less tongue next time."

"Okay, I admit it. You are a good dog."

Magus

'You hold no authority that will allow you passage, and are ignorant of the magic password ... can you at LEAST tell me your mother's maiden name?'

"It's a loaner until mine is back from the shop."

'What the. . . don't tell me that you ate the frog that was sitting right there?'

"Sure, we need more research in alchemy, necromancy, and sorcery, but where is the money going to come from?"

"Why is it you always head back to the well?" "Making a wish always makes me feel swell!"

Windfarm lobbyists will be turned into marshmallow.

"I'll kiss him after the flies are under control."