Fan Debate Champion Gifts

"I thought they decided who was the best team last year?"

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

"Everyone stay calm, if we don't upset it maybe it won't start shooting."

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

America Finally Solves the Gun Problem

'What's the difference? Some people call it privatizing government. Others call it super pacs buying congressmen.'

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

'I don't get it, Victoria. . . why are men in control of everything?'

A young positivist.

Healthcare declaration

'Mark my words! Our enemies will test this young guy with a huge international crisis as soon as he's electe! But don't worry, he'll be fine!', 'Come here, Joe -- let me give you a nice fist bump!'

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

'If you have to ask, you can't afford it.'

Children arguing over the name of a fish

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

'There are no stupid questions, so let's also agree there are no stupid answers.'

'I've changed my mind...I want to grow up to be a politician.'

"This swamp is much too beautiful to drain.".

Tree of Public Opinion.

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"

"But now the good guy with a gun has a foot wound."