Family Visits Fan Gifts

A clue that you're not visiting enough.

At the market

You were warned about mixed marriages.

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

"Why do leaves change color?"

Boy sits at father's desk at work and says on phone: 'OK, I'll have my boys call your boys ..'

Holiday Travel.

'Can you read this one for me? I have a book report on it tomorrow.'

'It's one of life's little miracles!'

'Look, mom! They ran out of trick or treat candy, so they gave us these kittens!'

"This is my son...I want him to work his way up all the way from the bottom- even if it takes all day."

'This next song is for all the people out there who came to hear me sing.'

"We moved here for the schools."

Freak Family.

'You know, in dog years, five is the new three.'

'We need another week to do things and another month to undo things.'

'I'd say that was just the thing to wear on a visit to an 80-year old uncle in Texas who's going to leave you five million dollars.'

My dad's teaching me how to mow the lawn, fish and use the grill, I'm teaching how to Google, text and use an ipod.

'You should give her a bigger breakfast - She's just eaten my thermometer!'

"She'll be riding six white horses when she comes. Stop. She'll be riding six white horses when she comes. Stop. She'll be riding six white horses, she'll be riding six white horses, she'll be riding six white horses when she comes. Stop." "That's just like your mother."

Baseball Angels

Family wearing shin guards to protect against the kid in a play car.

Apparently Barking Rovers have won the cup.

'And then Mindy had the nerve to call me a 'helicopter mom.' Me? In this wonderful jetpack! As if!'

'Wednesday wave.'

Sharing sweets with dad.

Father to son pig...'Son ,remember, mud is thicker than water.'

'Don't do that, Mom...Dad will be home soon.'

Attorneys in deep

President, first lady and mischievous first lad.

Tee for Two

I finally figured out that "spoiler alert" is my parent's code for a visit from Grandma.

'Look, I think she recognised you!'

"Yes, my family did visit me today... how did you guess?"

Baldo, I really got to know you on my recent visit. I want you to come see me someday. Here is $300. Save it for your plane fare. Don't even think about using the money to buy a car."