Sports Fan Sibling Gifts

Apparently Barking Rovers have won the cup.

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

You were warned about mixed marriages.

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

The noise from the basement was probably nothing – but if it was, she was a sacrifice her older brothers were willing to make.

"How do you expect him to grow up to be a pro if he doesn't start young?"

'Is that IT? All this way for just the ONE?'

Olympics create interest in curling.

'He took a fetching class.'

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

'Geez, Dad! You never scream your lungs out at the refs! Don't you love me?!'

Scraper Biking, Manhattan, Spring, '95

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

'Mum, she pulled my mane!'

"You can't live in our basement. Your brother beat you to it."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

'Stop crying or Mom will think we're not having fun!'

Baseball Angels

'And then Mindy had the nerve to call me a 'helicopter mom.' Me? In this wonderful jetpack! As if!'

"Go join your coach and the rest of your team. I'll be watching from the bar."

"Beware of watchdog."

'He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites.'

"Wait, all the screaming, and cheering, and swearing – you've been faking liking football the whole time?"

'The only reason I take him with me wherever I go, is because the thought of kissing him goodbye makes me feel sick!'

Little Brother for Sale, 'I don't care what he did!'

Little League Registration: "Um, I think we're gonna need to see your birth certificate again, son. . ."

"If he's a little bundle of joy, shouldn't he be laughing?"

"..Just bring me anything that'll scare my little sister"

"I am standing up straight."