Family Values Enthusiast Pillows

"Am I talent or product?"

'This is all make-believe, isn't it, Dad?'

"Fred Homerson! How are you? How's the wife? The kids? The traditional family values?"

'He helps keep me focused on what matters most.'

'To put a different slant on it, I'm promoting my son here over you all because water is thinner than blood.'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

"Listen. Nobody's cuter than anyone else! You're all equally cute!"

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

I love my family!

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

"I'm so good at this!"

It's a Boy

Mother's Love

"Use your inside scream."

"It's bold! It's moving! It's inspired! But what is it?"

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

'I think babies grow in a mommy's tummy and adopted babies grow in a mommy's heart.'

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

'I'm concerned that the children may be playing too rough.'

'They're a very successful family.'

Family traits.

'If your boss is so dumb, daddy, why did he hire you?'

"Do you have to do that even when it's not Valentine's Day?"

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

"I read the audio book."

"I tried being a stay-at-home dad. But I found out that being a stay-at-work dad is far less stressful."

'If he hasn't got a name yet, how do we know he's ours?'

'Oops! It says administer at bedtime. Guess that makes it bedtime.'