Family Values Defender T-Shirts

"All I'm saying is that family values are really important to all of us. For example...I didn't sleep with my wife before we were married. You?"

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"You're adopted."

Family traits.

"It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"Gracie, we're rich because we love one another...we have a safe home and we don't go to bed hungry at night."

Personnel: 'I promised Mom I'd call her when I got here safely - do you mind?'

"This is my son...I want him to work his way up all the way from the bottom- even if it takes all day."

"Sorry, I'm only allowed to save humans, not refugees. Here in the EU we've got humanitarian values, you know?"

'I know you've gotten attached to him, Bobby, I have too, but the man at the door is from his firm and needs him back.'

"And if that day comes, sweetie, just make sure your wedding album is inclusive-looking."

"I have a right to disagree! You can't force me to use logic."

'That's it? Listen to my mom?'

"That's Stuart and Vivian Muntner. They're a one-marriage family."

Bernie Sanders

"It's the old man's idea. Reckons his young executives should see more of their families."

"This may surprise you, Worthington, but I'm a man who believes that nothing in life is as important as family."

Marry one wife, get another one free - 'It's our new incentive for marriage.'

'What do you mean, you don't like the look of him - What has he ever done to you?'

"I like being a kid - it's the ultimate entitlement program."

"I love the way you make me rethink my commitment to family values."

GOLDEN RULE: 'High moral fiber cereal,'

Something without the sexual connotation, please.

"Mom, please take her and teach her morals, manners, and chores."

'He helps keep me focused on what matters most.'

"Fred Homerson! How are you? How's the wife? The kids? The traditional family values?"

"Your honor...the only reason my clinet committed these crimes was to support his wife and five kiids."

'The good news is that I can spend more time with my family. The bad news is my job is now only part time.'

The Faith-Based Family

'Do you think my husband would have better than a 50-50 chance if you didn't wear your mask up so high?'