Family Storyteller Gifts

They were sad when they found out their Grandfather had died in an earthquake.

The kids never let David forget the year he just couldn't find the afikoman.

'Here is my report card. For reference here is your report card, I found in the attic, when you were in the same grade.'

"When I was your age, I was an adult."

Regrets Only

"Tell me again, Dad, how you started in the mailroom."

"It's someone from your past who gave birth to you, and raised you, and sacrificed everything so you could have whatever you wanted."

'Grandpa, how did you settle things before litigation?'

"I'll give you a cookie if you promise to paint me as a pillar among women in your future memoir."

'I made the top ten on our church's prayer list.'

'Dad, tell me again about the day you got it all together.'

'You can't blame everything on my generation - You should blame it on your GRANDFATHER'S generation.'

"Mom, when you want some privacy wear this. No one will come within 20 feet of you!"

'Get up and do something, George, so I can put it in our Christmas letter.'

"Before we begin, I think you should all know that I once smoked a reefer in 1935."

'You were a band geek?! Maybe Max will play an instrument!'

Family Money - "I've been working on your family tree!"

'Why do we have to see the doctor? Why couldn't Grandma sew me up?'

'So you want me to put on a sweater because you feel cold? Are you thirsty too? Perhaps I should drink something.'

"Don't bother complaining about anything to granddad...he'll just say 'these are the best days of your life!!!'"

"I worry about Gramma. What if I decide to have kids when I grow up? Will she still be there to raise them?"

"I'm glad you got to meet some of my heroes, Katie..."

"No, dear. You won't still have to go to school when you're Daddy's age. Daddy goes to school because he's a teacher."

'I was just telling them that used to be a TV show called 'Father Knows Best'.'

For Their Own Good.

'I met with Holly's teacher today...I'm trying to head off trouble. I want her to apply herself this year!!'

'And there's our little Steven, pecking out of his shell.'

'Brings back childhood memories, doesn't it?'

'I know I'm your father, but I'm also your attorney and these father-son talks are considered billable hours.'

'Is it true, Grandpa? When you were a kid, was 'history' called 'current events'?'

"You're six years old Jason. When I was your age I was eight?"

"Uh-oh....where'd I put my teeth?"

These are pictures of my grandchildren...' 'She's back to her old self.'

'Give my teacher an apple? Grandma, I can't afford a computer!'

'My grandson has been walking from an early age. . . Oh yes, in fact, by the time he was two he'd been walking three years.'