Family Storyteller Gifts

Scenes from a Vacation

They were sad when they found out their Grandfather had died in an earthquake.

The kids never let David forget the year he just couldn't find the afikoman.

'Here is my report card. For reference here is your report card, I found in the attic, when you were in the same grade.'

"When I was your age, I was an adult."

Regrets Only

"It's someone from your past who gave birth to you, and raised you, and sacrificed everything so you could have whatever you wanted."

'Grandpa, how did you settle things before litigation?'

"Tell me again, Dad, how you started in the mailroom."

'Dad, tell me again about the day you got it all together.'

"I'll give you a cookie if you promise to paint me as a pillar among women in your future memoir."

'I made the top ten on our church's prayer list.'

'You can't blame everything on my generation - You should blame it on your GRANDFATHER'S generation.'

"Mom, when you want some privacy wear this. No one will come within 20 feet of you!"

"Don't bother complaining about anything to granddad...he'll just say 'these are the best days of your life!!!'"

"Before we begin, I think you should all know that I once smoked a reefer in 1935."

'Get up and do something, George, so I can put it in our Christmas letter.'

'So you want me to put on a sweater because you feel cold? Are you thirsty too? Perhaps I should drink something.'

'Why do we have to see the doctor? Why couldn't Grandma sew me up?'

'You were a band geek?! Maybe Max will play an instrument!'

"I worry about Gramma. What if I decide to have kids when I grow up? Will she still be there to raise them?"

Family Money - "I've been working on your family tree!"

"So, Gramps, did you fight the World War on Nintendo or Playstation?"

"You're six years old Jason. When I was your age I was eight?"

'I was just telling them that used to be a TV show called 'Father Knows Best'.'

'I met with Holly's teacher today...I'm trying to head off trouble. I want her to apply herself this year!!'

'And here's another of our Andy when he was a pupa.'

'Give my teacher an apple? Grandma, I can't afford a computer!'

'My grandson has been walking from an early age. . . Oh yes, in fact, by the time he was two he'd been walking three years.'

For Their Own Good.

"Remember, my family is based on a true story."

'Is it true, Grandpa? When you were a kid, was 'history' called 'current events'?'

'Riley, I think it's time you learned the truth... You're adopted.'

These are pictures of my grandchildren...' 'She's back to her old self.'

'And there's our little Steven, pecking out of his shell.'