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'My teacher has a good memory. She remembers what a rotten kid you were.'

"Feel free to take notes."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

True confessions.

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

Children's Party

'Riley, I think it's time you learned the truth... You're adopted.'

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

'You were a band geek?! Maybe Max will play an instrument!'

Wyatt returns home to visit his old small town.

"See those birch trees on the other side of the pond? That’s the exact spot where your mother first called me an idiot."

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."

"Grandpa, how did you ever survive without apps?"

'It is a big day! Ten years ago, yout dad joined the union!'

"But our history was current events when you were at school Dad!"

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"Oh, you haven’t seen holiday drama ‘till you’ve met our little family."

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

'If I want to live happily ever after, grandma, do I have to marry a princess?'

'What does the tooth fairy do with all those teeth?'

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

"Oh I remember, it was a particularly cold day and your daddy whispered sweet nothings in my ear. It gave me such a warm feeling inside that I knew he was the one!"

'It's a horror-comedy.'