Family Stories Gifts

"I'll never forget my father, near death, saying 'get me a pen... I'm going to change my will.' But it was Sunday, and all the stationery stores were closed."

"Feel free to take notes."

"I have to be getting back - I'm the glue that holds my parents' marriage together."

'Who turned up the thermostat?'

'...Mom said i can have it!' 'No way! She promised I get the painting!'

'I had a very lonely childhood. I was an only twin.'

"Can you tell me the story again about how you swiped right on Dad?"

Thank you for visiting us again Son... Can I still call you Son? You are so handsome now...

"Gran, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you for Christmas?"

'Shhh! I think I found their playbook.'

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"In his last words he was calling out to his father. . . what did he say?"

"...And that's my cousin James. He was raised by a family of gophers."

"This is your second cousin Adalberto. He was a soccer player until he was kciked in the head and got a conclusion."

"Tia Carmen, did you ever use a stool to cook?"

"Mas cafecito Abuela Zoraida?"

"I think you can learn a lot from Abuelita Zoraida?"

"When I was a little girl...my mami had really good remedies for our aches and pains."

"Well son, it all began when your Mother and I decided to visit the local 'SeaLife Centre'..."

"Yeah, I get the same thing. Walked four miles to school in the snow....I guess there weren't any cars of busses when our parents were our age!"

"Okay, I'm not the fastest gun in the west. . . but I am the fastest gun in my immediate family!"

"I've heard of sleepwalking but sleep bricklaying?"

"Gramps gave me the historical tour of all the places he used to smoke!"

"Hello, Mom – guess who they're taking!"

"Grandma ... how come there are selfies of you?"

Chapter one

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

What's this, Nana? A clothespin. What's it for? Hanging out clothes to dry. Huh? This is a clothesline. It's what we used before dryers. Wow! You're like a living history museum. Sigh.

Mom's book club is discussing some author's defense of wild, passionate romance. I've been listening in. I can't decide if I'm fascinated

"You're like the grandpa I never had, Mort." "You never knew your grandpappy, Randy?" "Oh, no, I knew him. Grandpa Randy was an intrepid archaeologist who broke hearts and defeated villains all over the world." "‘Indiana Randy’s’ life story became the stuff of legend. They even made some movies based on his exploits." "I'm just saying you're nothing like him." "I was going to see those films back in the '80s, but the matinees were past my bedtime."

"I found Grandpa's old cough!"

Barnaby greets his mother

Mr. Dombey introduces his daughter Florence

"Your grandpa wasn't always a sweet ol' angel."

'If a group of kangaroos is called a mob, can I tell my friends my parents are mobsters?'